I hope you guys aren’t expecting me to write some sort of lonely planet like review, because these reviews will simply be ‘anti’ that. I went to Vanuatu in 2006 as part of a P&O Cruise on the Pacific Sun. This was my first cruise boat experience. So I might as well talk a bit about the boat ride there.

The Boat to Vanuatu

Shopping was all the same regular duty free selection (it seems to be the same shit everywhere) and is uber expensive. You can buy art and stuff but I rarely bother with that stuff unless its local.
Food on the boat was awesome. The dinner is semi-formal sit-down in a dining hall and the chefs are ex hotel chefs so they have a fucking clue what they are doing in there.  Table service and friendly staff, this was the highlight of the trip for sure. When you’re hungry there are a few small takeaway places on board like pizza and a café with sandwiches so you can score some munchies at almost any time.
I had my first taste of duck on this trip. Man was it good. I honestly can’t remember any other dishes because I was drunk most of the time on the boat cause other than eat and drink there aren’t much to do.
Drinking on the boat was pretty nuts. They give you a swipe card which makes paying easy and they pretty much never cut you off. I drank so much Heineken on this trip my liver should of keeled over and died. But it’s still going strong! Cocktails were of pretty good standard and they didn’t use shitty quality alcohol, they aren’t the cheapest drinks on the planet, but you pretty much have no choice.
Entertainment on the boat was average at best. Apart from the comedy night and a few deck games, it’s a slow ride to your destination, You get like 1 TV station because of the crappy reception and that was playing Larry King live most of the time I flicked the TV on. The casino was pretty disappointing and pretty dated, far from fucking Vegas or even a slice of it.. It resembled a returned serviceman’s club (RSL) which you Americans will have no fucking idea what they are. Think of a place for seniors/veterans where they drink local beer only, play poker machines (slot machines) and gamble on horses and dogs, and have a cheap cafeteria for acceptable at best food. If you’re a single man I guess you might be able to chase some ass, but being that most of the cruise is seniors.. Your either hoping for a cougar or begging for a jail sentence.
Other shit on the boat…The cabins were pretty small and dated and the boat rocked like a motherfucker as we were tailing a cyclone (hurricane) out to sea.

Champagne Bay

So we arrived on shore to find an island that’s seriously native and not developed. They were living in the wooden/grass huts and collecting coconuts and fishing for food, So don’t go thinking Vanuatu is some Hawaii like beach resort. The locals are pretty friendly and will show you around, They also want to sell you shit which is understandable since they are dirt poor, but its not like Indonesia where they hassle you to death to buy all their cheap fake crap.
Shopping is basically local arts and crafts handmade by the person your buying it off or someone related to them. Pretty good skill/quality of goods most of which are wood carvings. There’s no malls or even shops really in this area.
Food is almost non-existent unless you bring a fishing rod or can accept a coconut as a meal. One of the locals should start up a barbecue joint. We were provided a packed lunch by the boat, so I’m not gonna talk about that cause its not local stuff.
Drinking yet again cause of the lack of any development here drinking is almost non existent, probably a good thing since I was on a non-stop bender on the boat. The water from my packed lunch kit was average (not san Pellegrino)
Entertainment is awesome, interacting with the locals we cut down our own coconuts, went swimming and snorkelling, they even had soccer games going up until sunset, At sunset they lit a fire and played a guitar and sang songs as we were delayed going back to the boat. With no infrastructure around, this was the best fun you could find, and it really wasn’t bad at all!
Other shit…Don’t go when the tides are going nuts, you’ll get stuck on the island for hours longer than you anticipated, lucky the locals entertained us, Take some mosquito repellent and some snorkel gear.

Port Vila

Stumbled off the boat to find myself surrounded by crystal clear water and a bunch of hawkers selling all sorts of stuff on the pier that the boat docks to. The typical scene of out-dated cars overloaded with people really didn’t surprise me, it’s not the most developed country in the world but it seemed interesting from first impressions. A quick car trip later and I was in the main part of Port Vila browsing the marketplace on the coastline. The people are looking to make a sale, but they aren’t overly pushy, I don’t feel threatened or overly concerned about getting sick. Browsed through a lot of record stores and a few clothes shops looking for some different stuff. Not really the sort of place to be doing that unfortunately, but still, plenty of other shops to check out.
Shopping is pretty decent, Booze is cheapest I’ve ever seen, I bought a bottle of Jonnie Walker Blue Label for $110 and it retails for like $200 or more anywhere in Australia. The marketplace is good for your usual island stuff, like sarongs, wooden jewellery, flip flops and the like. One thing to note is you can’t buy booze in the local shops on a Sunday. That shocked me.
Food is pretty good here, the local specialties are prawns and beef, both of which are tasty as hell. The prices are very reasonable and most restaurants here are safe to eat at. You can even try snacks from the street stands, a lot of travellers on the boat ate from these and had no health issues after.
Drinking is not really Vanuatu’s forte. There are a few bars around but it seems to be more of a place you shop at the marketplace and spend the day doing water sports.
Entertainment is all about water sports here, Jet boats, Scuba diving, snorkelling and everything else to do with getting into the crystal clear waters surrounding the island. The Scuba diving here is one of the best ive ever experienced, literally like swimming in an aquarium, great variety of sea life reside here.
Other shit…If I had the chance I’d love to explore other places in Vanuatu, I’m sure it’s got more than I’ve given it credit for in this review. It’s definitely built for tourists but it’s one of those holidays where you laze around and do water sports in between sunbaking.