Working first shift at a 24 hour bookstore results in long periods of boredom.  Nobody’s in the store, you’ve already straightened all the boxes and mopped as much as you can.  The morning theater crowd is off keeping itself entertained, and won’t be out to whine about the coffee machine being broken for at least a couple of hours.  I found lots of ways to fill this time.
One day, I decided I was going to make a whole bunch of weird signs and just hang them everywhere.  I don’t remember most of them, but here are the ones I do remember.
On the door leading into the first theater, there was a “No Smoking” sign.  I hung a “No Pets” sign underneath it.
In the hallway leading to the men’s bathroom, there was this empty shelf.  We never put anything on them, they were just there from whatever the building was before it was an adult bookstore.  So I hung a sign over it that said “SALE: Invisible Vibrators are now 50% Off!  Invisible Batteries Not Included”.
A sign I taped on the case with the edible panties in it: “Sorry! We are out of BBQ flavored.  We apologize for any inconvenience.”
A sign I taped on the case with the S&M clothing & accessories in it: “FREE SPANKING with purchase!”