ReviewAway: Tusk

Much like the comic book characters that he adores, pop culture king Kevin Smith’s latest film has a rather interesting origin story. The idea was born on Smith’s podcast Smodcast, where he and friend Scott Mosier were discussing a  Gumtree posting in which a man from Brighton, England, who offers free accommodation in exchange for a strange role-play request; that the lodger spend time each day in a realistic Walrus costume, while acting and sounding like a Walrus. Smith found it hilarious, and started concocting a 50’s styled Hammer Horror-esque story with a satirical twist based on the post, except instead of just making the lodger wear a suit, he would turn them into a hybrid Man-Walrus. Much like the crazy man in his story, Smith tried to create a hybrid horror-comedy which, much like the the poor Walrus-Man in the film, was functional, but not perfected.

I’ll start off by saying I don’t have anything against Kevin Smith. I’m a big fan of Clerks, and I like Mallrats, so I’m a fan of Smith’s even when he’s not at his strongest. But even his most die-hard disciples have to admit that he’s not exactly a cinematic genius. He was in the right place at the right time with Clerks, and that launched him a little higher than his league. Sure, he can tell a story, but telling a story and making a film are two very different fish. Unfortunately this is extremely prevalent in Tusk, Smith’s first foray into the world of horror. Tusk feels like two different films sewn together; the first is an impressively creepy monster movie about a crazed elderly man (played by an especially threatening Michael Parks) who turns podcaster Wallace (Justin Long) into a Man-Walrus hybrid, and the second is a gratingly unfunny comedy focusing on Wallace’s friends Ally (Genesis Rodriguez) and Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) as they team up with Inspector Clouseau ripoff Guy Lapointe in order to track down Wallace.
The main plot is a well constructed and fairly terrifying horror film that doesn’t rely too heavily on gore or jump scares in order to frighten the audience, It instead relies on a deeply threatening yet calm performance by Michael Parks, who turns a comedic premise into a horror with real promise. Justin Long plays a great victim, who conveys a great amount of terror, even while in Walrus form. The same can be said for the actors in the side story, with Haley Joel Osment and Genesis Rodriguez playing convincingly scared characters who seem out of their depth. Unfortunately though, the side plot introduces the films biggest weakness; Johnny Depp’s bumbling detective Guy Lapointe. I don’t know if it was Smith’s writing or Depp’s performance, but he nearly ruins the entire film.
The comedy in this film is painfully unfunny, and it’s in half the film. No, really, there’s a 20 minute portion of the film that’s nothing but Lapointe talking about trying to catch Parks in a bad pantomime French accent, and then attempting to kill Parks character with a painfully unfunny flashback. Basically, Johnny Depp’s performance in this movie is a lot like running sandpaper down your tongue; it leaves a terrible taste and it’s physically painful to endure. The worst part about it is that the rest of the film is good enough to make you feel bad that it’s being ruined. It’s shot well, the score is good, and Greg Nicotero’s (The Walking Dead’s Special Effects lead) effects actually do look good enough to be realistic but also have a greet cheesy feel to them. Apart from Lapointe and a slightly slow setup it’s a good cheesy 60’s style horror movie, but the bad is so bad that it sours the rest of the film.
Verdict: If you’re a die hard Smith fan, then he’s definitely made worse films than Tusk, but if you’re just looking for a good Horror-Comedy, maybe wait to stream this one.
5/10